100WC week #7 – Ella

As I rode my red scooter on the concrete I saw something fluffy yes fluffy.I Slowed down it was a bunny it looked like it was dancing so I danced too. Then I gently picked it up. It was so cold so I was scootering with a bunny in my arms really fast home and then I got a big container and I put an old newspaper in the bottom then I put the bunny inside and I got some old baby toys. Then the bunny started playing with the toys. I get a baby blanket and put it around the bunny. Then my mum got home.She said hello i said hey and she came into the lounge and used what was in there Bella?.I said it’s a bunny. I found it down the road when I went for a scooter ride.

 

4 thoughts on “100WC week #7 – Ella”

  1. Hello Ella!! I think you did a great job! I would’ve liked to know why you took the bunny home. Was there a reason? My class has done these words before and you used them beautifully! I like a bunny and want. Have you ever wanted a bunny?

    Happy writing!
    – Ashlynn

  2. Hello Ella!! I think you did a great job! I would’ve liked to know why you took the bunny home. Was there a reason? My class has done these words before and you used them beautifully! I like a bunny and want one Have you ever wanted a bunny? Happy writing! – Ashlynn

  3. My class also also talked about the 5 bold words!!!! Don’t forget to capitalize your I’s! How big was the container? You did a good job on the first sentence when you said yes fluffy! That was good!

  4. Kia ora Ella.
    You began by talking about a very cute bunny and then added an even cuter picture of one for your piece, however, I feel that you kind of moved away from focusing on the bunny. This is a shame because you could have used lots of interesting descriptive words to tell your readers more about it.
    An important thing to remember, is that this is called the 100 Word Challenge, the challenge being to write effectively using ONLY 100 words. In this piece you have gone well over with 145! This is a big part of the skill of going from a good to a great writer – being able to pare your writing back, making it fabulous by using just the right words.
    Come along to our class blog at https://rakau19.edublogs.org/ and our classes can share ideas and feedback.
    Ms M #100WC

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