100WC Week #6 Jaxon

I was out walking with my friends at about 3:00 PM but when we were walking down the street to the dairy to get some ice cream i noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

I just kept walking but then it started to occur to me that that what i saw wasn’t just a random hallucination but it was a person, i looked behind us but all i saw was darkness, then i looked back and i saw a door.

Me and my friends started to freak out. But i had to see what was inside…

2 thoughts on “100WC Week #6 Jaxon”

  1. Jaxon,
    You have set quite a scene of suspense and curiosity. I cannot help but wonder what the narrator will do. I especially liked your phrases…out of the corner of my eye, and …it started to occur to me. Good job capitalizing the pronoun I to begin sentences. Remember to do that at any time you use that pronoun—even in the middle of sentences.
    Keep writing.
    Mrs. G. , Team 100, Guilderland, NY, USA

  2. I like your story, I love ice cream
    I think you should talk about what was inside
    But you did pretty good

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