100WC – Week #30 – Cameron

Many, many years ago, a fight took place in this exact location, and what a fight it was!  Two men, eager to get an object, were running towards  the end of the street, taking long, graceful strides.  They were too late though, as a horde of soldiers came into sight.  Sweat beaded down the captain of the horde of soldiers, these men were well known. “ Bring out the weapon,” he yelled to his companions.  They took out a big piece of metal, similar to an iron.   Not knowing what it was, the two men smiled.

When the beam of light came out so fast, the men both disintegrated in a flash!

2 thoughts on “100WC – Week #30 – Cameron”

  1. Hi Cameron!!
    I like your story it has lots of creativity and I can tell there is a bit of humor behind it as well. I like how you included details for me to almost see what was going on in my head, and I also like how you described the item in the picture. As well as the dialogue. But other than that I feel the only issue is maybe you give more information as to why the men smiled at the end. But other than that, it’s good!
    Maybe check out my most recent blog post too if you can https://app.seesaw.me/blog/22raysrockstars/#!/item/item.354fac9b-4c82-427b-8f6a-2072489e9ec9
    Tyyyy
    -Addison

  2. Hi Cameron, I liked your story. My favorite part was when they disintegrated the two men. One thing you could use in the future is NTSSWTSW. It stands for no two sentences starting with the same word. It may sound hard but it makes your writing piece look a lot better. I liked your story. Keep writing.
    Harrison St Charles, Illinois, USA

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