Gradually, things started to move… 7 hours earlier. “Hey ken wanna come over to my house?”
“Sure i’ll be there in five.”
When i was at home waiting for ken I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a doll but then i looked over and saw nothing. “I must be hallucinating” I thought to myself. Two minutes later ken showed up.
“Hey ken” I said “hey” he replied. He came over and sat on the couch
“Ahhh i’ve always loved this couch” he said i saw his eyes shine red… “ken?”
“Yeah?” he said in a demonic voice…
Hello Jason,
Your story reminded me of a movie involving a doll I have seen. It would be a very creepy thing to find yourself in a situation like that.
Your use of speech is well done. It helps readers better understand what characters in a story are thinking. With Ken’s final words, your readers are left to wonder what happens next to both you and Ken.
Keep writing!
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia